Le blog d'Archiloque

A personal taxonomy of video games

This text has been written for the List Jam organized by Critical Distance. The published version is here.

  1. Video games I used to play

    1. Those I bought because the box had cool art but were terrible

    2. Those I got a pirated copy of and could not understand anything because I didn’t have the manual and I didn’t have internet at the time[1]

    3. Those whose history was undecipherable because my English skills were not good enough[2]

    4. Those that frustrated me before I understood that some video games were more difficult than others[3]

    5. Those that frustrated me before I understood that some video games have bad controls[4]

    6. Those I played with friends by sharing the controls, even if they were supposed to be single-player[5]

    7. The first of a series of games I’m proud to have played on their original platforms just because I was born at the right time[6]

    8. Those I watch speedruns of from time to time for nostalgia, because I feel that if I tried to play them I would lack the reflexes and patience and it would be horrible[7]

    9. Those I still listen the soundtrack of[8]

  2. Video games I don’t play

    1. Those on platforms I don’t own because I’m afraid buying one would lead me to spend too much time playing[9]

    2. Those I bought to support the developers knowing I probably wouldn’t play them[10]

    3. Those I bought thinking I would like them even if I knew I wouldn’t[11]

    4. Those I wanted to play but I feared I wouldn’t really like them, so I watched a full walkthrough video of them instead to avoid any risk of frustration[12]

    5. Those I read about extensively because I have more fun reading about them that I would probably have playing them[13]

    6. Those I started creating myself and didn’t finish because I’m a software developer and it’s a tempting thing to do

    7. The rhythm video games, I have no sense of rhythm

  3. Video games I would like to play

    1. Those I’d like to play because it seems like I should enjoy them, but I don’t[14]

    2. Those that don’t exist because some particular game mechanic or design style I love is not compatible with current trends[15]

    3. The long games that required a level of mental stamina I don’t have anymore[16]

    4. The online multiplayer games because planning to play with people seem exhausting

  4. Video games I play

    1. The gacha games I play non-stop for a few days until I can get a hold on myself and delete it[17]

    2. Those I play for one or two hours before I feel like I understand what the game is about and all the fun disappears instantly, even if I still want to play them[18]

    3. Those which are not supposed to be fun with cheats, but who are you to tell me how I should have fun?[19]

    4. The small “indy” games that explore an idea and don’t try to do too much with it[20]

1. Captain Blood
2. Ishar
3. The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants
4. Altered Beast
5. Doom II
6. Street Fighter
7. U.N. Squadron
8. Streets of Rage 2
9. NieR: Automata
10. Heaven Will Be Mine
11. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
12. Minecraft
13. Dwarf Fortress
14. Factorio
15. Cute shoot’em up
16. Any Final Fantasy game after the VII
17. Guardian Tales
18. Subnautica
19. Doom II
20. Minit